STORY

Walking on the road today, I saw a little girl playing one-legged jumping on the floor with a smile on her face, and immediately behind her came a response that looked like her grandma and said: You jump like this, after a minute you will break your tooth when you fall. I saw Grandma’s expression with pain and anxiety, but she also seemed unable to stop her granddaughter’s behavior. This scene should be familiar to everyone. Many persuasion from the elders is mostly worrying rather than appreciating, strict orders have concealed care and love, thinking that the other party will understand, or one day they will know their intentions as elders. However, the deeper problem behind it is that they can’t perceive what this automated reaction model brings to them and others is pain, and the next generation is almost hypnotized and forced to accept and internalize, but once someone realizes it with awareness, he or her can change this family lock.

 

Michael

From Woodlands, Singapore 20201129

 

Thinking of the process of my daughter making breakfast yesterday, I heard her tell me: Dad, you go out first, because you are here I will be under pressure. At that moment, I had many subtle emotions, thoughts and impulses, including: surprise, happiness, grievance, worry, fear and behind these emotional energy were a series of thoughts and dialogue debates: I use a gentle tone, you can tell me your needs, I did not want to give you guidance, you may have the risk of injury, the motivation for my daughter’s high achievement and the opportunity to build self-worth, many of these thoughts come from my own imagination and deduction. In the past, I would not observe my emotions and thoughts so carefully. When the dish was brought by her out to the living room to share with me, I praised her but decided to ask her: You said you will be under pressure, and ask Dad to come out. Dad has two thoughts to ask you, is it because you have high expectations of yourself and want to do it well? Or simply want to be alone and not be disturbed? What is your idea? Then she said to me: I want to do it independently, without relying on my dad.  I am happy to hear her saying that because I have clarified the subtext in my heart. All of this can only be communicated on the basis of awareness to cross check and avoid misunderstanding

 

Michael

From Woodlands, Singapore 20200906